Lessons from the butterfly

July 26, 2017 3 Comments



I think it is safe to say that butterflies are born out of adversity. Each time the butterfly becomes comfortable in a stage in life, it experiences great change.  After they hatch from the egg, they begin life as a caterpillar. During this stage the caterpillar must eat and eat to grow. However, its body doesn’t expand to accommodate this growth. The caterpillar constantly molts (sheds its outgrown skin).

 When something no longer fits you comfortably, leave it behind.

This rule can be applied to relationships, (platonic, familial or romantic), occupations, mindsets and attitudes . Don’t let your inability to release whatever no longer serves you be the reason you don’t progress to the next level in life and love.


Once the caterpillar has reached the optimum size, it enters the pupa stage. The pupa is also called the cocoon. From the outside, it may seem as if the caterpillar is resting or even dead. But, it is actually undergoing a metamorphosis. Everything that has happened in the caterpillar’s life conspires at this time to manifest its destiny. In the cocoon it is provided all the nourishment needed to progress to the next phase of its life. At the end of this stage the caterpillar is no longer recognizable! It is a butterfly.

Introspection is good for the soul.

After you have identified the mindsets, attitudes and relationships that no longer serve you it may be necessary to separate yourself from outside distractions. During this time, work on yourself. Recognize where work may be needed. Nourish the parts of yourself that are necessary for your growth. People on the outside may not understand this process. They may think that you are acting “brand new” and that is okay. It’s essential that you limit access to the people, places and things that will impede this process for you.  Because at the end of this process you will be just that “brand new”.


When the butterfly is fully formed, the cocoon begins to feel cramped. It is no longer comfortable, when it is no longer bearable the butterfly emerges. Initially the wings are wrapped around the body protecting the soft flesh underneath. Within hours of emerging from the cocoon blood is pumped into the butterfly’s wings and it begins to fly.

 Free yourself from the cocoon.

The cocoon has served you well, but it has served its purpose. If you have really done the work, then it will no longer be comfortable. You have to emerge. It is entirely possible that after emerging from the comfort of your cocoon, you aren’t sure what to do with your new wings. You want to keep them wrapped around your tender flesh.  You may even want to hide them, but resist this urge. Wings are meant to fly. Someone is depending on your message for their breakthrough. Just as the butterfly uses its wings to help pollinate beautiful flowers, your story will inspire beauty in the hearts of those who hear it. The people who wondered what you were doing, may not even notice the new you. You may not even notice the new you! The things that once interested you will no longer hold your attention. Now it is time to surround yourself with other butterflies. Have you ever seen a butterfly amongst the caterpillars? They have nothing in common. Likewise, your old friends may not understand the changes you have undergone. That is perfectly normal. Find yourself some new friends and fly to new heights – you beautiful butterfly you.


It is no coincidence that the new logo for Blessed be the tie is a butterfly. This blog started as a journey in self- discovery, but along the way it has taken on a life of its own. I now feature mom MVPs each month, A Spoonful of Sugar is being revamped and will be reintroduced soon, too. My new book will be released in a few weeks, and Blessed Be The Tie will soon host its first event. Did I mention that I am also officially a college student, again?! I am that butterfly. I am done with playing small and hiding inside the cocoon that I built for myself. Everyone doesn’t understand this process, they liked the old me.  The one with big dreams that I never put into practice. But, just like the butterfly I cannot return to my initial state. I am ready to spread my beautiful wings and fly!




The relationship a child has with its mother is the foundation upon which that child will relate with the world. Arnitris is committed to strengthening the ties that bind by providing, creating and inspiring signature mommy and me experiences.


  1. Reply


    December 19, 2015

    Oh gosh, I LOVE THIS!! Butterflies are like my soirit animal (can that even happen?? lol) and I am always applying this concept to my lice. I also like to say “Sometimes you have to turn to goo to get to a better place” lol! Lovely article and I will definitely be sharing!

  2. Reply


    December 19, 2015

    Such good points! Thank you. ☺️

    • Reply


      December 20, 2015

      Thanks for reading!