I have a secret, and I just have to share it because if I don’t I just might burst. I watch Real Housewives of Atlanta. There, I said it. As you know, Blessed be the Tie is all about strengthening the ties between moms and their children. So, I filter everything through that lens. The mother/child relationship is the foundation upon which all relationships are built. In my daily life, I see the ramifications of mother/child relationships gone terribly wrong. There are many children playing dress up in adult clothes. Such is the case with Phaedra Parks and her fall from grace.
I personally really like Phaedra. We are both preacher’s kids. So I can relate to the pressure of trying hard not to embarrass your parent. This pressure must be almost unbearable under the glaring lights of reality television. Children who grow up with very strict parents learn how to do one thing very quickly- lie. As a child, I would lie at the drop of a hat if I thought it would prevent punishment. I didn’t understand that the trust that should exist between myself and parents was being tarnished in the process.
I imagine that Phaedra suffered under the strict upbringing of deeply religious parents. It is hard to navigate peer pressure, dating and campus life under the watchful eyes of Mother Dearest. It seems that she has perfected the skillful art of lying, I am sure it serves her well in her chosen profession. There are 3 instances where Phaedra’s lies warranted a time out.
Her pregnancy timeline
Phaedra married the charming Apollo and soon after she was pregnant with her first child. It didn’t take a physician to confirm that she was further along than she professed to be. When asked about her due date, Phaedra changed the date several times. The only explanation is that she was pregnant before the wedding. In 2017, there doesn’t seem to be much shame in having a child out of wedlock. However, as Christians, we are called to refrain from pre-marital sex. Phaedra attempted to prevent the shade and whispers by lying – the only problem is that she didn’t have her lie straight. Like my grandmother used to say if you tell one lie you have to tell another.
Khandi’s disgruntled past employee, Johnny sashayed into Phaedra’s office and inquired about representation on a case about unpaid overtime. Because this isn’t Phaedra’s area of expertise, she referred him to another lawyer. Not only did she refer him to the other lawyer, she accompanied him to his appointment. This whole situation was sticky to begin with, but Phaedra has a checkered past with Khandi. That should have been enough for her to excuse herself from this process. But, it seems that Phaedra was looking for an opportunity to exact some form of revenge. A few episodes later, we see Phaedra denying any part in Johnny’s case. Phaedra, your part was documented on tape. Did you really think that Khandi wouldn’t find out?
He said, She said
The most egregious lie of all has been the center of the storyline for this season. Porsha was informed by an unknown person that Todd and Khandi planned to drug her and take her back to their sex dungeon. Khandi’s brand was tarnished by the accusations that she vehemently denied. During the season’s reunion, Porsha revealed that it was Phaedra who told her this lie. Phaedra attempted to continue the facade by saying that she got the information from a third party and implied that Porsha must have misunderstood. I watched the episode in tears, as Porsha visibly struggled to reconcile the betrayal of the beloved Frack to her Frick. No longer able to save face, a defeated Phaedra muttered “Now I’m the daggone villain.” Phaedra, my dear it seems that you have been the villain all along.
We are warned about snakes. They are easy to spot, because as soon as you get comfortable with them they strike. It is a little harder to spot chameleons. Chameleons blend in with the surroundings, looking like friends. They adapt to situations, people and places in an effort to gain access to your innermost thoughts and desires. I am convinced that Phaedra Parks is a chameleon. She has adapted to the stress of her life by creating fantasies where life is a fairytale. Phaedra, dear life isn’t a fairytale. You have endured a lot over the past few years, however I cannot allow you to play the victim. Accept your responsibility for the part you played and move on. You have much to be grateful for – and even more to apologize for. Go to time-out Phaedra – you will stay there for 43 minutes- 1 full minute for every year of your life. Think about what you have done and the best path forward.
You're invited on this journey of life, love and intentional dating as a good thing.
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